For the last two nights, my husband and I have been watching a recorded seminar of Ken Hovind regarding creation science and evolution. The seminar is called "The age of the Earth", and in the video he disproves evolutionist's theories and proves the creation theory in every circumstance.
During the process of proving creation science, he also points out the false teachings in school text books from all over the US and the world. Although he gets to be slightly "cheesy" in his presentation, I believe he speaks the Truth and I would highly recommend this educational seminar. The basic point of his seminar is that the universe shows us in every way possible that the earth is not millions or billions of years old like the texts books want you to believe. Dr. Hovind speaks of everything from the proven scientific age of the Sahara dessert, and the fact that it is growing larger; to the fact that the moon is moving away from the earth, which would prove that if the earth was as old as the evolution scientists want us to believe, then the moon would have been touching the earth long before the earth began.
I am truly amazed at all of the scientific evidence that points to the Real Truth, and I am ashamed to admit that I have not given this issue much thought before now.
It is my opinion that those who believe in evolution do so, because "someone once told them to", and gave them what seemed to be "convincing evidence". I don't want to believe something because "someone once told me to". I want to believe the Truth, because it is in God's word, but I also want to learn what I can from Ken Hovind and others like him who are finding the "worldy scientific" reasons that back up what God tells us in His word.
I want my kids to be prepared also for their encounters with those who believe in evolution. I want them to know the truth and what the real proven science is behind creation science.
Please don't just believe because "some teacher or guy told you to". Listen and obey God and let Him lead you to the Truth.
Websites For Facts: Answers in Genesis, and Creation Today
Friday, May 4, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Motives
Motives. I often feel like I have to explain my motives for the decisions I make, and the actions I follow through with (or do not follow through with).
I often feel like I am being watched and judged by my every move. I know- silly and a little vain right. I feel that I need to explain myself and make people understand and see that I am living a life where I try my very best to make the best, most fair, and most beneficial choices in my life.
The point is, I really do care what people think and feel about me. I worry about this. I try by my own power to get others to see the good in me, and not the bad.
I feel as though God is teaching me that the decisions I make are between God, my husband and I, and my motives are judged justly by the One and Only Christ Jesus. He is guiding me to make a change in my whole decision making process and certainly in my day to day, minute to minute actions and in-actions. He is teaching me that my reliance, faith and obedience to God should be causing me to act the way I do and make the decisions that I make in my daily life.
It continues to be my hope that my friends and family will see me through the grace filled eyes of our Lord Jesus Christ, and that I myself can find comfort in His truth.
I fail daily, I disappoint daily, and I can never live up to the expectations I have set up for myself. Despite my many faults, God's truth to me is that I must be obedient to His will and words for my life and He will take care of the rest.
If I live for Christ, and even when I make mistakes, I don't have to "explain" my life, my choices or my decisions to anyone else for the sake of convincing them that I am a good person or so they can see my "thought process" of this decision. I will listen for God's direction when I make mistakes and be obedient to His direction for me.
I believe the truth of this statement in the Psalms; 115:3 (one of my favorite verses) "Our God is in heaven and does whatever pleases Him". If I am obedient to God, He will do whatever he pleases, and He is in control.
My prayer for today is that this truth would sink in to my soul deeper than the lie that I have to explain myself to others in order for them to see my true and pure motives. God, draw me closer to You, for Your glory!
I often feel like I am being watched and judged by my every move. I know- silly and a little vain right. I feel that I need to explain myself and make people understand and see that I am living a life where I try my very best to make the best, most fair, and most beneficial choices in my life.
The point is, I really do care what people think and feel about me. I worry about this. I try by my own power to get others to see the good in me, and not the bad.
I feel as though God is teaching me that the decisions I make are between God, my husband and I, and my motives are judged justly by the One and Only Christ Jesus. He is guiding me to make a change in my whole decision making process and certainly in my day to day, minute to minute actions and in-actions. He is teaching me that my reliance, faith and obedience to God should be causing me to act the way I do and make the decisions that I make in my daily life.
It continues to be my hope that my friends and family will see me through the grace filled eyes of our Lord Jesus Christ, and that I myself can find comfort in His truth.
I fail daily, I disappoint daily, and I can never live up to the expectations I have set up for myself. Despite my many faults, God's truth to me is that I must be obedient to His will and words for my life and He will take care of the rest.
If I live for Christ, and even when I make mistakes, I don't have to "explain" my life, my choices or my decisions to anyone else for the sake of convincing them that I am a good person or so they can see my "thought process" of this decision. I will listen for God's direction when I make mistakes and be obedient to His direction for me.
I believe the truth of this statement in the Psalms; 115:3 (one of my favorite verses) "Our God is in heaven and does whatever pleases Him". If I am obedient to God, He will do whatever he pleases, and He is in control.
My prayer for today is that this truth would sink in to my soul deeper than the lie that I have to explain myself to others in order for them to see my true and pure motives. God, draw me closer to You, for Your glory!
Friday, April 20, 2012
Frugal living?
I have always known that my husband is frugal. He will go out of his way (literally) to get the best price on anything from peanut butter to a new TV. He is constantly checking on our bank accounts, tracking our spending, and thinking of ways we can save more, pay off our debts faster and retire early.
Well, I am the total opposite! I do not want to go out of my way to save a few dollars, I like the convenience of stores that are close and getting things done quickly. I have glanced at our on-line bank statements a few times during our almost 8 years of marriage, and I always assume that there is money in there that I can spend.
I have learned that if I want to buy something and I don't think it is a large enough purchase to ask my husband about it first, I use the only real method that keeps me out of "trouble". I smile and nice smile and I say "oops". :-) Sometimes I get a sigh, and sometimes I get a hug and sometimes I do get a small lecture about spending habits... but life goes on, and we are not too worried about our financial situation.
Most of the time when I am buying things, I tend to justify it by the fact that I do not often buy clothes, jewery, or other things for myself or the household, and when I do, I get them at a consignment store, or only buy one towel at a time, when I know we really could use 3 or 4 new ones to replace our old tattered and torn ones.
I feel that our spending downfalls tend to be related to eating out, impulse buys that we don't really need (like the little toys we get for the kids every once in a while at the store), and outings we go on.
My hang up right now with the issue of living frugally is that it is my desire to live a frugal life and to be debt free with savings and the ability to pay cash for what we buy. However, I look forward to the day when I can go and buy some new clothes from a non-consignment store, and even some new shoes (maybe on the same day or in the same month) :-) , and not have to worry about telling my husband how much the clothes cost. I also want to be able to sign my children up for a sport or activity without thinking it costs too much.
It is hard for me to see how I can do these things if I start trying to live more frugally.
It feels like I am starting to see how both of my "dreams" in regards to finances can become a reality for us, but it might be a bumpy road to get me all the way on board. :-)
I will work on it though.
Well, I am the total opposite! I do not want to go out of my way to save a few dollars, I like the convenience of stores that are close and getting things done quickly. I have glanced at our on-line bank statements a few times during our almost 8 years of marriage, and I always assume that there is money in there that I can spend.
I have learned that if I want to buy something and I don't think it is a large enough purchase to ask my husband about it first, I use the only real method that keeps me out of "trouble". I smile and nice smile and I say "oops". :-) Sometimes I get a sigh, and sometimes I get a hug and sometimes I do get a small lecture about spending habits... but life goes on, and we are not too worried about our financial situation.
Most of the time when I am buying things, I tend to justify it by the fact that I do not often buy clothes, jewery, or other things for myself or the household, and when I do, I get them at a consignment store, or only buy one towel at a time, when I know we really could use 3 or 4 new ones to replace our old tattered and torn ones.
I feel that our spending downfalls tend to be related to eating out, impulse buys that we don't really need (like the little toys we get for the kids every once in a while at the store), and outings we go on.
My hang up right now with the issue of living frugally is that it is my desire to live a frugal life and to be debt free with savings and the ability to pay cash for what we buy. However, I look forward to the day when I can go and buy some new clothes from a non-consignment store, and even some new shoes (maybe on the same day or in the same month) :-) , and not have to worry about telling my husband how much the clothes cost. I also want to be able to sign my children up for a sport or activity without thinking it costs too much.
It is hard for me to see how I can do these things if I start trying to live more frugally.
It feels like I am starting to see how both of my "dreams" in regards to finances can become a reality for us, but it might be a bumpy road to get me all the way on board. :-)
I will work on it though.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Personal time vs housework
I love "all things neat". I must admit I am obsessed with keeping things neat, clean, put away, in their own place/bin/box or space in a room. I am bothered by everything from fingerprints on windows, dirty screens, film on the shower doors to toys being put away in the wrong bin and toys, puzzles or games missing pieces.
Ugh! There you go.
I bet you think my house is super clean and neat now don't you? The ugly truth is, it is not clean, there are leaf bits on my kitchen floor and currently there is unfolded laundry all over my living room floor.
My screens are not all clean, the toys are mostly put away (but it was a really nice day outside and the kids played outside for much of it), there are lots of fingerprints on my windows, and sadly even finger or maybe tongue smears :-( Ick!
So, most days I stress about having the time to clean the smears, fold the laundry, clean the floors, and let's not forget about the toilets!
Well, the Lord gave me a nudge today. I believe that my focus needs to be on caring for my children and the children I do daycare for first, and making sure they get the attention and affection that they need. I also believe that the Lord wants me to work hard to keep our home clean and tidy, because it is His blessing to us to live where we live.
I realize through the nudge I was given that my focus is more on the tasks then on the family. I often become hurried in my time with the children so I can get to the "work" that I have to do. I do not want to be too busy for my kids or my husband.
My prayer and goal for the rest of this week and the next is to find at least 10 minutes of personal one on one time with each of my children (above and beyond play all together times) to give them all time to see that I love and cherish them and they are more important to me than housework.
I have found in some instances I can do things together with the kids. For example, my son really enjoys "helping" do the dishes. Yes, it takes longer and it gets a little messier :-) But this is time that we can both feel love, time spent together and a sense of accomplishment.
I hope to take the time to do more "tasks" alongside my children, not only to teach them about responsibility and doing their part in a family setting, but also to simply be with them.
Ugh! There you go.
I bet you think my house is super clean and neat now don't you? The ugly truth is, it is not clean, there are leaf bits on my kitchen floor and currently there is unfolded laundry all over my living room floor.
My screens are not all clean, the toys are mostly put away (but it was a really nice day outside and the kids played outside for much of it), there are lots of fingerprints on my windows, and sadly even finger or maybe tongue smears :-( Ick!
So, most days I stress about having the time to clean the smears, fold the laundry, clean the floors, and let's not forget about the toilets!
Well, the Lord gave me a nudge today. I believe that my focus needs to be on caring for my children and the children I do daycare for first, and making sure they get the attention and affection that they need. I also believe that the Lord wants me to work hard to keep our home clean and tidy, because it is His blessing to us to live where we live.
I realize through the nudge I was given that my focus is more on the tasks then on the family. I often become hurried in my time with the children so I can get to the "work" that I have to do. I do not want to be too busy for my kids or my husband.
My prayer and goal for the rest of this week and the next is to find at least 10 minutes of personal one on one time with each of my children (above and beyond play all together times) to give them all time to see that I love and cherish them and they are more important to me than housework.
I have found in some instances I can do things together with the kids. For example, my son really enjoys "helping" do the dishes. Yes, it takes longer and it gets a little messier :-) But this is time that we can both feel love, time spent together and a sense of accomplishment.
I hope to take the time to do more "tasks" alongside my children, not only to teach them about responsibility and doing their part in a family setting, but also to simply be with them.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Hmmm? contentment.
The last couple weeks have been emotionally difficult for me as well as for many of my family and friends. Through these difficult times I have found comfort in my Lord and in offering up my pain and the difficulties of this life to Him.
Although I have felt close to the Lord and have been putting more effort into allowing Him to work in my life, I must say that I have also been feeling somewhat content in my walk with the Lord.
I am NOT comfortable with this feeling of spiritual contentment and I do feel that Satan is trying to tell me that I am fine and I do not need to put more work into my relationship with God right now. That is a lie and I pray that God would make me feel uncomfortable with the lies of Satan and prompt me to dig deeper into God's word and rely on Him even when things seem ok.
I pray that even in the happy times as well as the times that I am feeling "just content" that God would work in my life so fully that my life would never just be "content", but that I would always feel the Holy Spirit pushing me to be better, lean on Him more, and live for Him fully.
Although I have felt close to the Lord and have been putting more effort into allowing Him to work in my life, I must say that I have also been feeling somewhat content in my walk with the Lord.
I am NOT comfortable with this feeling of spiritual contentment and I do feel that Satan is trying to tell me that I am fine and I do not need to put more work into my relationship with God right now. That is a lie and I pray that God would make me feel uncomfortable with the lies of Satan and prompt me to dig deeper into God's word and rely on Him even when things seem ok.
I pray that even in the happy times as well as the times that I am feeling "just content" that God would work in my life so fully that my life would never just be "content", but that I would always feel the Holy Spirit pushing me to be better, lean on Him more, and live for Him fully.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Teaching children about prayer and outreach as a family.
I have often thought that I want my children to learn how to care for others through prayer and also through acts of love and kindness. I found a wonderful very fun example of how to teach them to lift others up in prayer. We used a craft idea from pinterest and created out own "Prayer Pail" that we have decorated and put in the center of our table. We use this to choose a name of someone to pray for each day. The kids and I pray for the individual or couple at our meal time.
I believe that this will teach them to remember others at meal times to pray for them and to lift others up in prayer and not just their own needs or wants.
I have to admit I have struggled with how to teach them to care for others with their actions in a way that is planned and something that they can carry out. The simple things come to mind like making cards or crafts for others. However, I am looking for more...
Our church has teamed up with an elementary school in our area, in which there are several homeless families represented, and have begun sending backpacks filled with food for the weekend for the children and their families. This has been a wonderful event that my children can participate in by helping to pack the backpacks with the donated food during the "packing nights". I have also enjoyed taking them to shop for food for us to donate to the children who do not have as much as we do. That has been a wonderful learning experience for them.
I have also been wondering if there is a way where my almost 6 year old could help me read books to elderly people or people with disabilities so that she can learn about a broader scope of people with needs and ways we can show God's love to them in many ways.
It is my hope that this summer and into the next school year (in which I will be homeschooling my 6 year old) that we are able to become more involved in an organized outreach or our own area of outreach for the purpose of caring for others and showing God's love.
I welcome any suggestions people have for outreach ideas to do with young children.
I believe that this will teach them to remember others at meal times to pray for them and to lift others up in prayer and not just their own needs or wants.
I have to admit I have struggled with how to teach them to care for others with their actions in a way that is planned and something that they can carry out. The simple things come to mind like making cards or crafts for others. However, I am looking for more...
Our church has teamed up with an elementary school in our area, in which there are several homeless families represented, and have begun sending backpacks filled with food for the weekend for the children and their families. This has been a wonderful event that my children can participate in by helping to pack the backpacks with the donated food during the "packing nights". I have also enjoyed taking them to shop for food for us to donate to the children who do not have as much as we do. That has been a wonderful learning experience for them.
I have also been wondering if there is a way where my almost 6 year old could help me read books to elderly people or people with disabilities so that she can learn about a broader scope of people with needs and ways we can show God's love to them in many ways.
It is my hope that this summer and into the next school year (in which I will be homeschooling my 6 year old) that we are able to become more involved in an organized outreach or our own area of outreach for the purpose of caring for others and showing God's love.
I welcome any suggestions people have for outreach ideas to do with young children.
Focus in the midst of pain
This week began for me with a funeral for my great aunt, who passed after a struggle with cancer. She will be greatly missed and I share in the sorrow with my family for our loss. My family is in great pain now, but we see the light and peace that she is feeling now in the arms of Jesus. I pray that through the loss of my great aunt I might catch a glimpse of God's glory looking back on the difficult circumstances leading to her death.
On Monday I also learned that a dear friend of mine and her husband lost their baby just a few weeks prior to his due date. My heart is broken for my friend and I cannot imagine what she is feeling right now. My immediate reaction is to pray and then to try to do everything in my power to help her feel better and heal.
I feel that I do need to be there for my friend and help her with meals, or babysitting and encouragement. I will help her in any way that I can.
I also need to be continually lifting that family up to the Lord in prayer. I need to focus on God and His work through this terribly difficult time. I need to take a step back in my thoughts of trying to make all things better and be "in the moment there" for my friend. With God as my focus and His will being at the center of my thoughts and prayers for my friend, I feel like I can help her the most by listening to God and being obedient to His direction for me.
My mind is overwhelmed by the frailty of life and the power of God.
My prayer for today is for me and for my friend, and includes a verse from Phil. 4:7
May the peace of God which transcends all understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. May Jesus in His Great Glory be our focus and our strength.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Psalm 37:23-24
Psalm 37:23-24
"The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; though he (I) may stumble he (I) will not fall, for the Lord upholds Him with His hand".
It is only 11am, and this has been a very trying day for me. Both my 2 year old and my 3 year old have been whining literally all morning (they woke up at 7:4-am).
I have been lifting this day and these babies as well as myself up to the Lord today and pleading for Him to give me strength to deal with them in Love and Kindness. I fear that my earthly, impatient human self is loosing in this trial.
I have tried everything I can think of to try to get the kids to be happy and engaged in any sort of activity/play. They want nothing of it.
I am giving this up to the Lord. I put them both in their beds and I am taking time to pray and reflect and listed to God. I want Him to guide me, and be obedient to His guidance.
I pray that God would be near and hold my hand today. I pray that He would give the children peace and a calm spirit.
"The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; though he (I) may stumble he (I) will not fall, for the Lord upholds Him with His hand".
It is only 11am, and this has been a very trying day for me. Both my 2 year old and my 3 year old have been whining literally all morning (they woke up at 7:4-am).
I have been lifting this day and these babies as well as myself up to the Lord today and pleading for Him to give me strength to deal with them in Love and Kindness. I fear that my earthly, impatient human self is loosing in this trial.
I have tried everything I can think of to try to get the kids to be happy and engaged in any sort of activity/play. They want nothing of it.
I am giving this up to the Lord. I put them both in their beds and I am taking time to pray and reflect and listed to God. I want Him to guide me, and be obedient to His guidance.
I pray that God would be near and hold my hand today. I pray that He would give the children peace and a calm spirit.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
A lesson for Mommy.
It has been a long day. My 3 year old has been sad and a tad grumpy all day long, my 2 year old is still in the learning process of potty training (which is not easy on mommy). I was surprised (in a mostly happy way) to help out with kids club at church tonight because they needed an extra adult with the cubbies, and had to get the super tired children ready for bed without Eric (because he was helping some friends finish some painting in their home). Whew... I am tired just doing this minor recap!
When we arrived home after church tonight I wanted to get the kids ready for bed after a quick snack. I told them to take a potty break while I got the snack out, and come to the table. Well, Katelyn must have gotten to the toilet first, and Daniel (in competitive Daniel style) yelled at her and proceeded to slap her on her face! So, I went in their and calmly knelt down beside him (after checking on and kissing Katelyn's reddened cheek) and told him that hitting is not ok, and he is going to brush his teeth and go straight to bed. Well, as you can imagine, that did not go over well with him and he began crying a loud mad/sad kind of cry. I asked the girls to finish up in the bathroom and go into the kitchen to wait for me. I got Daniel ready and put him into bed and attempted to calm him down. Meanwhile, the girls continually stick their heads in the doorway to "quietly" let me know that they are waiting for me (as if I needed reminding at this point in my growing impatience and frustration). All I wanted was for things to be quiet and calm.
Well, I failed at calming Daniel down, but I needed to get to the girls, so I left his room and he continued to cry loudly for the entire time I was with the girls. When the girls were finally in bed, tucked in, hugs, kisses, and prayers. I was walking out of the room and Ellie says, "Oh, I need my bear". And Daniel was still screaming! AHHHHHH... And now the mommy mess up...
I did it, I yelled at her, raised my voice and yelled, "Get down out of your bed NOW, find your bear and GO BACK TO BED! The poor girl started crying huge sad tears, and we found her bear.
I took a minute to collect myself and then I asked her calmly to come to me. She did and I held her in my arms and looked at her and told her that she was a good girl and I was so proud of how well she behaved today and of what a sweetheart she is. I also told her that I love her and I made a mistake when I yelled at her. I told her that sometimes even mommies make mistakes and do things we should not do. I tole her I am sorry and asked her to forgive me. Ellie has such a loving, kind nature and she forgave me and gave me a huge hug and let me squeeze her tight.
I am very sad that I let my selfishness and frustration lead me to yell at her when she had not done anything wrong. A familiar verse comes to mind "In your anger do not sin". I let my anger and frustration get the best of me tonight. I blew it!
Now, I have made peace with Ellie and I have lifted this situation up to God and pray that he will soften my heart in the heat of moments like these and fill my heart with love and kindness, and not haste and my selfish desire to just be alone at that moment.
I do believe that God's strength is made perfect in my weakness. I desire to find myself reaching out to Him for His strength to flow through me in my moments of weakness so that I can be obedient to Him and act/react in ways that are pleasing to Him.
When we arrived home after church tonight I wanted to get the kids ready for bed after a quick snack. I told them to take a potty break while I got the snack out, and come to the table. Well, Katelyn must have gotten to the toilet first, and Daniel (in competitive Daniel style) yelled at her and proceeded to slap her on her face! So, I went in their and calmly knelt down beside him (after checking on and kissing Katelyn's reddened cheek) and told him that hitting is not ok, and he is going to brush his teeth and go straight to bed. Well, as you can imagine, that did not go over well with him and he began crying a loud mad/sad kind of cry. I asked the girls to finish up in the bathroom and go into the kitchen to wait for me. I got Daniel ready and put him into bed and attempted to calm him down. Meanwhile, the girls continually stick their heads in the doorway to "quietly" let me know that they are waiting for me (as if I needed reminding at this point in my growing impatience and frustration). All I wanted was for things to be quiet and calm.
Well, I failed at calming Daniel down, but I needed to get to the girls, so I left his room and he continued to cry loudly for the entire time I was with the girls. When the girls were finally in bed, tucked in, hugs, kisses, and prayers. I was walking out of the room and Ellie says, "Oh, I need my bear". And Daniel was still screaming! AHHHHHH... And now the mommy mess up...
I did it, I yelled at her, raised my voice and yelled, "Get down out of your bed NOW, find your bear and GO BACK TO BED! The poor girl started crying huge sad tears, and we found her bear.
I took a minute to collect myself and then I asked her calmly to come to me. She did and I held her in my arms and looked at her and told her that she was a good girl and I was so proud of how well she behaved today and of what a sweetheart she is. I also told her that I love her and I made a mistake when I yelled at her. I told her that sometimes even mommies make mistakes and do things we should not do. I tole her I am sorry and asked her to forgive me. Ellie has such a loving, kind nature and she forgave me and gave me a huge hug and let me squeeze her tight.
I am very sad that I let my selfishness and frustration lead me to yell at her when she had not done anything wrong. A familiar verse comes to mind "In your anger do not sin". I let my anger and frustration get the best of me tonight. I blew it!
Now, I have made peace with Ellie and I have lifted this situation up to God and pray that he will soften my heart in the heat of moments like these and fill my heart with love and kindness, and not haste and my selfish desire to just be alone at that moment.
I do believe that God's strength is made perfect in my weakness. I desire to find myself reaching out to Him for His strength to flow through me in my moments of weakness so that I can be obedient to Him and act/react in ways that are pleasing to Him.
Praising God.
Today I am praising God for His faithfulness and love for me.
God continues to teach me even though I have made my share of mistakes and have moments (unfortunately, daily) where my selfishness takes over and I act in ways that are impatient, unkind, and often self-seeking. He reminds me that He is there, He never changes, and I am His!
I tend to get stuck in Satan's lie that my moments of weakness and sin define me, and that others see me for that, and it is up to me to change that so they can see me for who I want to be and not who I really am (ick right)! It has been a humbling and difficult challenge for me to just give that idea up to God, My Father. I need to trust Him with that idea and not let it dwell in my heart. I know I cannot change the past or how others will see me (as much as I would like to).
I want to feel confident in the fact that God fully forgives me when I bring my sin to Him and turn from it. I want also to be able to forgive myself, and be able to move on in my daily walk and not let Satan hold me back from living a life fully for Christ.
My prayer for today is that God would take away my "urgent longing" for others to see the good in me as He does. I pray that I would turn to Him with my hearts every desire and I would allow him to shape and mold me into the woman that He desires me to be.
I praise God for becoming more alive and present in my heart and life daily, and I pray that my relationship with the Father will strengthen me as a mom, wife, friend, sister and daughter.
God continues to teach me even though I have made my share of mistakes and have moments (unfortunately, daily) where my selfishness takes over and I act in ways that are impatient, unkind, and often self-seeking. He reminds me that He is there, He never changes, and I am His!
I tend to get stuck in Satan's lie that my moments of weakness and sin define me, and that others see me for that, and it is up to me to change that so they can see me for who I want to be and not who I really am (ick right)! It has been a humbling and difficult challenge for me to just give that idea up to God, My Father. I need to trust Him with that idea and not let it dwell in my heart. I know I cannot change the past or how others will see me (as much as I would like to).
I want to feel confident in the fact that God fully forgives me when I bring my sin to Him and turn from it. I want also to be able to forgive myself, and be able to move on in my daily walk and not let Satan hold me back from living a life fully for Christ.
My prayer for today is that God would take away my "urgent longing" for others to see the good in me as He does. I pray that I would turn to Him with my hearts every desire and I would allow him to shape and mold me into the woman that He desires me to be.
I praise God for becoming more alive and present in my heart and life daily, and I pray that my relationship with the Father will strengthen me as a mom, wife, friend, sister and daughter.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
For the love of a story.
Those who know me, know that I spend quite a bit of time researching my family history. What most people do not know however, is that I do it for the love of the story. It is a great passion of mine to know the story of my family, and not just that- but to go deeper and know the story of as many individual people in my family as possible. I also really love the "chase", finding and uncovering new facts and being able to put those facts together to form who the people were and what their lives were like.
I have written an extensive book on one branch of my family history, and hope that my children or at least someone appreciates it as much as I do. My Great-Great Grandfather had a total of 9 biological siblings, a father, mother, a stepmother, grandparents, and an uncle who I know of and have written a page or so on each of their lives.
Here is an excerpt from the book that I thought was pretty funny...
I have written an extensive book on one branch of my family history, and hope that my children or at least someone appreciates it as much as I do. My Great-Great Grandfather had a total of 9 biological siblings, a father, mother, a stepmother, grandparents, and an uncle who I know of and have written a page or so on each of their lives.
Here is an excerpt from the book that I thought was pretty funny...
"When speaking with Mike (last name protected), he told me that when he was young, he went with the family to Communion Mass. His Auntie, Mary Petranton was with them and she asked him if he was hungry. He replied, “No, I already ate breakfast”. Following this statement, she hit him “on the back of the head, harder than he has ever been hit in his life”. This was because you were not supposed to eat before Communion Mass. Mike thought this story was funny when he told me, and he told it with a smirk and a twinkle in his eye for the memory of life on the Levee."
I have had the wonderful opportunity to learn a great deal of happy, warm details about my family history, as well as some difficult and painful facts and memories. I was very blessed to be able to meet and speak with so many different family members with wonderful stories and memories from their lives to share with me. I hope that the family story that is recorded will pass to future generations and they will long to know the history of their "immediate" past.
Oh, Insecurity...
My day has begun with a nagging sense of insecurity. I am seeing a friend and her daughter today , and I am continually struck by the thoughts that enter my mind in relation to other people. When someone is going to visit or I am going to be caring for their child, my mind starts racing with all of the things I have to do. Anything from organizing, cleaning, finding a craft or project for the kids, or planning a fun game.
I believe that all of these things can be good and fun things, but often my "motives" for doing these things are to prove that I am really good at being a homemaker, wife, mother and caregiver. Satan gets into my head and tells me that if I don't do these things, others will think I am not. The scary part is that I often believe this lie and work hard to prove myself worthy of others noticing me and how well put together I and my household seem to be.
It is true that I look at other women who seem to have it all together. You know these women who do amazing crafts with their kids and never become impatient, those who make time for themselves to read 1-2 great books each day, those who have no laundry pile in their laundry room, and those who are slim and fit and always look like they were just given a spa treatment and makeover. Then there are the women who speak God's wisdom, are confident and you can tell that they are spiritually healthy and trust the Lord to provide their confidence and their everything.
I have to say, I desire all of the above qualities, and feel inadequate at times about each one. To be fully honest, I don't know how to lessen my feelings of insecurity and comparing myself with other women. This is just one of the many feelings that I believe God is allowing me to feel so He can draw me close to Him.
One scripture that I need to keep close to me today is Romans 8: 5-6
Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires
but those who live in accordance with the spirit have their minds set on what the spirit
desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the spirit is
life and peace.
Again, I come back to focus. My prayer for today is that my mind would be filled with the Holy Spirit and he would fill my mind with what the spirit desires, and that the spirit would lead my thoughts, motives, plans and actions. I pray that my focus would be not on proving to others that I am worthy, but living for God and allowing Him to make me worthy to live as His child.
I believe that all of these things can be good and fun things, but often my "motives" for doing these things are to prove that I am really good at being a homemaker, wife, mother and caregiver. Satan gets into my head and tells me that if I don't do these things, others will think I am not. The scary part is that I often believe this lie and work hard to prove myself worthy of others noticing me and how well put together I and my household seem to be.
It is true that I look at other women who seem to have it all together. You know these women who do amazing crafts with their kids and never become impatient, those who make time for themselves to read 1-2 great books each day, those who have no laundry pile in their laundry room, and those who are slim and fit and always look like they were just given a spa treatment and makeover. Then there are the women who speak God's wisdom, are confident and you can tell that they are spiritually healthy and trust the Lord to provide their confidence and their everything.
I have to say, I desire all of the above qualities, and feel inadequate at times about each one. To be fully honest, I don't know how to lessen my feelings of insecurity and comparing myself with other women. This is just one of the many feelings that I believe God is allowing me to feel so He can draw me close to Him.
One scripture that I need to keep close to me today is Romans 8: 5-6
Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires
but those who live in accordance with the spirit have their minds set on what the spirit
desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the spirit is
life and peace.
Again, I come back to focus. My prayer for today is that my mind would be filled with the Holy Spirit and he would fill my mind with what the spirit desires, and that the spirit would lead my thoughts, motives, plans and actions. I pray that my focus would be not on proving to others that I am worthy, but living for God and allowing Him to make me worthy to live as His child.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Prayers can make a huge difference.
I have to admit, I am not always the best about remembering to pray in both the good times and the bad. I am sad to say that I often forget to lift my children and my husband up in prayer when things are going seemingly well. When life as a whole is going well for me (as well as when it is not), I must remember as a mom and wife, and a child of God, to continue to return to God on a regular basis to thank Him and give Him the honor and Glory he deserves.
I have to say that overall I have been overly blessed and my life is a joyous gift. However, I do have daily struggles like everyone else and I often forget to turn to God in these small trying/difficult moments. When I do remember to call out to God in my daily trials and difficulties as well as the joys I see throughout the day, I believe it pulls me closer to Him and allows me to see more clearly His view of my life and faith in Him is broadened.
I have 3 children, two girls age 5 and 3, and a son who is 2. My son has been in a "difficult stage" for a few months now and gets upset very easily and will hit, throw things, yell and be very disrespectful to others. In moments of trial, when it seems as though I have tried everything, and my patience has run out, I turn to God and take my son in my arms, hold his little hands, and pray out loud. I pray for God to calm us both, and to give me patience, kindness and love for this little man. I also pray for wisdom for dealing with his behavior. I have found that God has blessed us through this simple act of bringing these trials before Him. He calms us and He gives me the patience I need to finish teaching my Son how to act appropriately, and he helps us put an end to the current trial.
No, I cannot say that God has "cured" my son of his naughty behavior, nor can I say, he has given me all the right answers for how to deal with this when it comes up again. I can say though that God is continually teaching me that it is good for me to come to Him in EVERY TRIAL. It is also good for my children to hear me reach out to God in moments of trial and to encourage them to do the same. I believe that if I am faithful in my prayers for myself and my family, it will make a huge difference in the spiritual health and the focus of my family.
Luckily, he is a super cute stinker :-)
I have to say that overall I have been overly blessed and my life is a joyous gift. However, I do have daily struggles like everyone else and I often forget to turn to God in these small trying/difficult moments. When I do remember to call out to God in my daily trials and difficulties as well as the joys I see throughout the day, I believe it pulls me closer to Him and allows me to see more clearly His view of my life and faith in Him is broadened.
I have 3 children, two girls age 5 and 3, and a son who is 2. My son has been in a "difficult stage" for a few months now and gets upset very easily and will hit, throw things, yell and be very disrespectful to others. In moments of trial, when it seems as though I have tried everything, and my patience has run out, I turn to God and take my son in my arms, hold his little hands, and pray out loud. I pray for God to calm us both, and to give me patience, kindness and love for this little man. I also pray for wisdom for dealing with his behavior. I have found that God has blessed us through this simple act of bringing these trials before Him. He calms us and He gives me the patience I need to finish teaching my Son how to act appropriately, and he helps us put an end to the current trial.
No, I cannot say that God has "cured" my son of his naughty behavior, nor can I say, he has given me all the right answers for how to deal with this when it comes up again. I can say though that God is continually teaching me that it is good for me to come to Him in EVERY TRIAL. It is also good for my children to hear me reach out to God in moments of trial and to encourage them to do the same. I believe that if I am faithful in my prayers for myself and my family, it will make a huge difference in the spiritual health and the focus of my family.
Draw me close!
The lyrics of a familiar Michael W. Smith song fill my head and heart today...
"Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way bring me back to You
You're all I want
You're all I ever needed
You're all want
Help me know You are near".
I love this song, as it speaks to what I want my life say to Christ every minute of every day. Most days it feels like I have a long way to go to achieve this, but I will continue to sing this song loud so my kids can hear, and hope that the words/thoughts of this song ring true in my life daily!
God is good.
"Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way bring me back to You
You're all I want
You're all I ever needed
You're all want
Help me know You are near".
I love this song, as it speaks to what I want my life say to Christ every minute of every day. Most days it feels like I have a long way to go to achieve this, but I will continue to sing this song loud so my kids can hear, and hope that the words/thoughts of this song ring true in my life daily!
God is good.
Strength of a Family
When I think of "Family", I think of the words, "safe, fun, joy, forgiveness, selfless, sacrifice and grace". Although I do not always feel these things all at the same time toward my family, I have been blessed with one of the best families around.
I feel a sense of security with my family knowing that they all (even extended family) are there for me even when I don't deserve their love, and that they love me and will accept (and have accepted me), despite my many flaws and mistakes. I have joy in the thought of my family feel very blessed that God has placed each of these people in my life to uplift me and love me.
I hope that when my family thinks of me, they do so with fondness and know that I love them and am there for them whenever they need me. I hope that my children can see Family as a blessing and learn to feel the same comfort and love from our family. I hope and pray for them that they would have a desire to deepen their relationships with family members and are devoted to family.
I pray also that my children desire to learn the rich history of our family and appreciate our roots as well as a desire to leave a lasting, Godly, loving legacy, as God is the glue that binds our family together and continues to give us a desire to love, forgive and live with each other in grace.
I feel a sense of security with my family knowing that they all (even extended family) are there for me even when I don't deserve their love, and that they love me and will accept (and have accepted me), despite my many flaws and mistakes. I have joy in the thought of my family feel very blessed that God has placed each of these people in my life to uplift me and love me.
I hope that when my family thinks of me, they do so with fondness and know that I love them and am there for them whenever they need me. I hope that my children can see Family as a blessing and learn to feel the same comfort and love from our family. I hope and pray for them that they would have a desire to deepen their relationships with family members and are devoted to family.
I pray also that my children desire to learn the rich history of our family and appreciate our roots as well as a desire to leave a lasting, Godly, loving legacy, as God is the glue that binds our family together and continues to give us a desire to love, forgive and live with each other in grace.
My Focus is on the Lord
I have many worries swirling around in my head. I want to focus on my relationship with Christ, but that focus becomes blurred when I look at myself and know that I need to become a better person in many areas of my life and become a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, caregiver, teacher... I become overwhelmed, sad, and upset with myself for being so selfish. I feel inadequate and not worthy of the friendships I have, and even the love of my friends, and family. This is a horrible feeling. I know in my head and heart that Satan is forcing these feelings upon me in their strength and I do not want to believe his lies. The difficult part of this for me to deal with, is that even though Satan is trying to defeat me and my walk with Christ, he is using my insecurity, my selfishness and weakness and the truth that I am not perfect in my relationships to break me up and pull me away from my earthly relationships and God.
My struggle in this moment is knowing how to work on many areas of my life at one time and not being defeated before I even begin. I believe the Lord is telling me that although I feel alone in personal relationships right now, that I need to focus on Him and only my relationship with Him and let Him teach me and mold me into who He wants me to be. It is really hard for me to "let go" of trying, straining to work on relationships and doing things to try to get others to see that I am worthy of their love. However, I am going to try.
My prayer for this day is that I will focus fully on God and his love for me. I will give Him my worries and my insecurity. I believe that He is with me and will guide me and provide me with everything I need.
God, forgive me for my faults and for believing the lies Satan has been telling me. Please guide me and draw me near to you.
My struggle in this moment is knowing how to work on many areas of my life at one time and not being defeated before I even begin. I believe the Lord is telling me that although I feel alone in personal relationships right now, that I need to focus on Him and only my relationship with Him and let Him teach me and mold me into who He wants me to be. It is really hard for me to "let go" of trying, straining to work on relationships and doing things to try to get others to see that I am worthy of their love. However, I am going to try.
My prayer for this day is that I will focus fully on God and his love for me. I will give Him my worries and my insecurity. I believe that He is with me and will guide me and provide me with everything I need.
God, forgive me for my faults and for believing the lies Satan has been telling me. Please guide me and draw me near to you.
Seeking God Starting Today...
I have been distant from my Lord for a while now for many reasons. My reasons include business, sadly; lack of desire to put time into Him, and selfishness concerning my time and activities. I am embarrassed to say, that at this point in my walk, I feel so far away from the Lord. At this moment in time I feel like I although I am beginning to put in more effort, this is difficult, and I do not feel connected to Him. This journal is in an effort to walk with Christ daily and draw near to him even when I do not feel like it. I believe that God will bless me through this effort and come along side me and grow my spiritual relationship with Him.
I am starting a book study today called, "Experiencing Spiritual Intimacy" by Mary Graham that was referred to me by a good friend. Today, in the study the scripture Isaiah 58:2 was a great reminder to me that followers of God should seek God day after day, and be eager to know God's ways and for Him to come near to them.
This is my prayer for myself, that I would seek God, not only daily, but every minute of every day. I long to be near to God and feel His presence upon me daily. Although I do not yet feel His presence daily, I feel it is not far off, and I believe He is near to me always, even in my distance from Him, he is never far away.
I am starting a book study today called, "Experiencing Spiritual Intimacy" by Mary Graham that was referred to me by a good friend. Today, in the study the scripture Isaiah 58:2 was a great reminder to me that followers of God should seek God day after day, and be eager to know God's ways and for Him to come near to them.
This is my prayer for myself, that I would seek God, not only daily, but every minute of every day. I long to be near to God and feel His presence upon me daily. Although I do not yet feel His presence daily, I feel it is not far off, and I believe He is near to me always, even in my distance from Him, he is never far away.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Family Decisions - Homeschooling.
Our family is about to go through a huge transition. Currently, I have a daughter in Kindergarten in public school, a daughter in preschool at a church location and a son who is two years old and not old enough for preschool yet. I have the great privilege of being a stay at home mom/daycare provider at my home. Although I adore the little boys that I care for that are not my own, my husband and I have decided that for the 2012-2013 school year, I will begin homeschooling my eldest daughter, while the two younger children will still attend preschool until they are of age for Kindergarten. Then it is our hope that I will be able to home school all three of the children.
This has not been an easy decision, but there are several reasons we have made this choice for our family. Let me just say, that we are not against public school, as that option is the best option for some families; however, we believe that it is not right for our children at this time in their lives.
The most important reasons for our choice, are first, that we feel our children need to grow up being bathed in scripture and in knowledge of God and His word, and we feel that this option will allow them to learn about God and his love in every aspect of their education. I also feel that the quality of education they receive will be much better being at home and getting a 1:1 attention and care.
This decision has not been easy, and there are many times that I have gone over this in my head about what the best decision really is and I have worried that the decisions that my husband and I make for the kids will be the best and not cause harm or pain in the future. At this point, my husband and I both feel like this is what we need to do for our family and I do have peace about this decision even amongst the fear, and uncertainty. I know that God will show us the path and guide us and our children through this process. That is my prayer and my comfort.
This has not been an easy decision, but there are several reasons we have made this choice for our family. Let me just say, that we are not against public school, as that option is the best option for some families; however, we believe that it is not right for our children at this time in their lives.
The most important reasons for our choice, are first, that we feel our children need to grow up being bathed in scripture and in knowledge of God and His word, and we feel that this option will allow them to learn about God and his love in every aspect of their education. I also feel that the quality of education they receive will be much better being at home and getting a 1:1 attention and care.
This decision has not been easy, and there are many times that I have gone over this in my head about what the best decision really is and I have worried that the decisions that my husband and I make for the kids will be the best and not cause harm or pain in the future. At this point, my husband and I both feel like this is what we need to do for our family and I do have peace about this decision even amongst the fear, and uncertainty. I know that God will show us the path and guide us and our children through this process. That is my prayer and my comfort.
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